8.31.2006

The United States of AmeriKAKIS

The Baltimore Orioles may be the laughing stock of the AL East, because of their large payroll and crappy record. They may have broken the record for the largest attendance drop in major league history, and they may have the worst owner, um....EVER. Still, the incredible lack of press for what the Orioles do right is incredibly frustrating for a life long O's fan.

For example, where is the big Nick Markakis story on MLB.com or foxsports? A rookie is moved from the number 9 spot to the number 2 spot, hir first time up, he homers. Then he's bumped down to number 3, and, first time up again, hits a 2-run shot. The kid is kicking ass, and along with Fahey, Cabrera, Loewen, and Penn, seems fit to lead the next generation of Orioles.

Show some love to Sammy and the boys, for not giving up on this kid.

8.25.2006

But will he bat on Shabbes?

Every baseball season is ripe with speculation. Who will have a breakout year, who will slump, which trade will prove wisest, which shoe-in will be a dissapointment. Generally, no one asks, "will there be another Jew-meets-baseball moment?" I would never suggest that a player like Shawn Green has the ethos of Sandy Koufax, clearly when we think of a Yom Kippur sit-down, the lefty Dodger dynamo is the first image. But Green has twice benched himself from games most people would die to play in, in order to observe a high holy day.

And now Green, an aging right fielder, in his Bar Mitzvah season in the majors, has played the Jew card again by telling the media that he is excited to play in front of Jewish fans in New York.

Why is that exciting? What does he expect from the Jewish fans?

The man is making millions, so he can't be courting the yids for their money, and while his comments got him a lot of press, so did the trade itself. He just joined the best team in the National League, number 2 in Dayn Perry's recent power rankings.

The only viable option for his excitement? Free Bagels. It's amazing what some people will do for baked goods.

8.24.2006

Fall Classic

It's more than a month away, but I already know that the Yankees won't make the fall classic. It helps that Mussina pulled his crotch, it helps that Giambi's hamstrings can no longer carry his weight and it helps that A-rod's throat is infected as his average in October is sure to be. But those are just side notes.

The Yankees are relying on unreliable pitchers, and their tried and true players are faltering and old. The only young bloods are Cano and Melky. The rest will be traded to acquire more "guarantees" who guarantee nothing but dissapointment.

You can quote me on this. There will be no Bronx Bombers vying for rings in 2006.